On my recent visit home (irrespective of the circumstances which will always be there good or bad depending on how we want to be like or make out of it), I did not know how to respond (hold myself for the first time) to the mixed up feeling I had. Excitement and hurting at the same time. Good news and bad news. But overall is all good depending on me and my family how we make out of the situation rather say how willing are we. Coming back to the issue of good news and bad news. I was deeply touched when I was listening to my 99 year old grandmother giving me unforgettable advices of life and how she is proud of me. Nothing replace that for sure. Also catching up with everyone at home excited about life and being happy. It is really energy giving and nothing beats family. The most sad thing is after I looked at my family situation DEEPLY and started reflecting (in correlation with my current exciting job/lifestyle), I was deeply moved and saddened, how much damage/torture we are creating out there. In my situation, I can say the damage I have done is trying to be a little hero, providing for them everything I almost I had, it can be a shoe, money, clothes, any material thing I have  ( I hope everyone gets me here because I am not saying we must not help our family members rather help them to an extent where they can do things at their own, not fully dependant). And hence creating a certain level of dependance. I have fought impossible battle thinking that's the way for the last 12 years. Even things worsening. The biggest sin I made was to believe that when I provided them with everything I think they needed that's it. What I think they needed. That 's mistake we all make especially in the development world. There is life in my family member. What's the point of giving a pig a suit to wear while you know at the end is gonna go back to the mud and mire it. (I am not saying my family are pigs, is just a parable). Why not try to learn its lifestyle and be its friend and learn from each other and hence develop into certain way of mentorship, equality, mutual respect, example set-up, trust and most important value-ing and sense of ownership. My point is there is life in there needed to be lived. I see everyday people talking about building buildings, infrastructure  and coming from that situation, that is not the solution. There is life inside that building or infrastructure or fancy car. Is so sad these individuals build the buildings or infrastructure and leave for their own satisfication. In all the poor areas I worked, is so hurting to millions of number buildings left and ruined and wasted. Is better to help someone to be equal as us not look down on them. Because is not the poor who needs that. Is amazing every day people who wanna be rich or so called rich are running after non-fulfilling, non-satisfying lifestyle (simply of ego and selfishness) and forgetting simply things spending time with their children/family investing in their lifestyles than material which doesnt satisfy. Is easy for individual to visit the moon in few and doesnt know the neighbour who he/she has been staying with for the last ten years. We are busy building higher and higher but we cant reach our neighbours whom the building are built at their cost. What make us happy?